Basically, I’m falling to pieces and am becoming concerned.

With the wedding coming up, both Gem and I have been trying to lose a bit of weight. I’m generally pretty much “feh!” about my weight, but I really hate my beer gut.

Being clever, I sat down and identified three things that are wrong with my lifestyle:

1) No excercise

2) Too much with the eating

3) Too much with the drinking.

Not wanting to do anything about 2 or 3, I reluctantly focus on 1.

So, I go running, very gently and gingerly, for a week or so.

And totally fuck my knee up.

In unrelated news, I’ve also got a bad back and muscular chest pains that mean I can’t turn my head more than 45 degrees in either direction.

So. I feel like an old man. Horrible.

Now that I effectively can’t excercise, I had to look long and hard at the remaining two items on my list. It struck me that I’ve literally been drunk 2 or 3 times a week since I was 16.

Literally.

And the thought of giving up pies is too depressing to countenance. So I’ve given up booze.

And I can’t tell you how much that upsets me. Not, i hasten to add, because it’s in any way difficult or challenging. Simply because I don’t want to be “that guy” who, when offered a drink shakes his head smugly and says, “thanks, I don’t.”

I keep coming back to that old Sinatra quote, “”I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s the best they’re going to feel all day…”

And its not that I’m given to pat generalisations or epithets (Ha!) but I do keep finding myself listening to his version of “Look at me now” a lot these past few days.